for a house by the tracks instead of away from them!
When planning your next vacation, you choose your travel
route based upon the location of active railroads and railroad museums.
When you blow your horn two longs, a short, and
a long through every intersection.
Speaking of intersections, you call the signals
as you go through them.
You call zoning to ask if you can use a boxcar
for a shed.
You wonder why automobiles don't come equipped
While engaged in intimate relations, you
suddenly find yourself mentally debating the relative merits of Genesis vs. F40's.
Your wife tells you her water burst, and your
first reaction is, "My God, her boiler will be ruined!"
When you end every phone conversation with
When being served dinner, you say, "Easy,
easy, that'll do!" as you've gotten enough.
When riding with someone who's backing into a
parking space, you say, "two cars...one car...far enough.".
When you get a shopping cart with a bad wheel,
you tag it and set it aside for the shops to repair, or park it in an aisle and put up a
blue flag in front of and behind it.
You curse the dispatcher when you're held up in
While driving your car, you put your arm on the
window sill and wave your hand and blow your horn to all kids standing on the street.
Your wife opens her wallet to show the
relatives photos of the children while you open your wallet to show them your latest rail
photos from last weeks fan trip.
You install a pedal operated bell in your car
and ring it while driving across railroad crossings.
You open your refrigerator door only to find it
full of film for the next fan trip.
You find yourself looking for old locomotives
and color schemes during the obligatory chase scene through the rail yards when you're
watching old cop shows and movies on TV.
The efforts of Hollywood to re-create an
earlier era using trains is met with your derisive snort, "They didn't have GP40-2's
in 1970! Can't they get it right?".
You're on Amtrak, you find out that the guy
across the isle is a Railfan, and your wives look at each other, roll their eyes and sigh.
You're in your car and you come up to a
railroad crossing. The crossing lights are not flashing and no trains are coming, but you
slow to a crawl and look up the track both ways in hope of seeing a train.
You are on a rail facility tour and start
talking to one of the mechanics on the shop floor only to find out that you know more than
You rent certain movies at the video store
because you know there is a very cool train scene in it.
You refuse to cross the tracks until your
favorite train has passed by.
You barbecue using tie butts, for that special
You tell your wife you are going down to the
corner bar to have a few drinks with the guys, however, you go to your favorite train
watching spot to take a few photos.
You are on a highway overpass, at 60 mph you
suddenly shout,"that's the Seaboard down there!", and you can't believe the
others in the car didn't recognize it by the color of the ballast.
You tell your wife you would like take a nice
ride to look at scenery, and she asks you,"Shall I'll take some magazines to look at
while you look at the scenery in the rail yard?".
You can't understand why everyone else doesn't
understand what "approach diverging" means.
It would not be to your advantage for the
railroad police to come to your house and look around.
You get tired of explaining to people that you
are not a fireman because you have a radio.
Your relatives only think of you when they see
You get irritated whenever a train wrecks
because non-railfans "invade" your special train watching spots.
The train crews know you by first name or you
know them by first name.
When all your friends rely on you to tell them
when the morning train comes through, so they can avoid it!
You stop at all railroad crossings and pray for
the gates to come down.
You are happy to be at a grade crossing when a
long freight is passing, while those around you fume.
You see a headlight approaching at a grade
crossing, and you slow down when everyone is speeding up.
You take your date to a railroad yard, just to
check on what's happening.
You're watching a movie and you say, "New
York? How can they be in New York when there's a UP freight going by?".
You show up trackside to film the fan trip
going by and you have so much camera equipment that the locals ask you which TV station
You're reading a book about choo-choos' to your
kid and you stop to explain that they've got the side rods drawn all wrong.
You can find the rail yard in a strange city
within 5 minutes or less of leaving the interstate.
You find yourself telling the radio what it is
going to say next.
You're driving near some tracks with your
non-railfan buddies and you see a train and shout "That's some nice GP60'S".
You go to your closet and there is no room for
clothes because of all the slide files and model railroad boxes.
You love to eat microwave dinners because they
remind you of the meals you had on your recent Amtrak ride.
You know you're a railfan when you work for the
railroad, try to act cool and ignore it all while at work, then when you get home watch
how your blood pressure rises to extremely high levels as you relive it in all it's glory
to anybody who will listen.
Your door bell sounds like a steam engine
whistle when someone pushes the button.
When you have to buy a van to carry all your photo equipment in. - RRman48 / Rusty Brinkman
When you find tracks in video games. - Anne Gillespie